Why is it so hard to ask for help?

Why is it?? Tyler was contemplating wether or not to go to work. I was not feeling well, yet I did my best to give him all these reasons to still go and that I would be fine. I'm glad he listed to his heart and stayed home, because as much as I wanted to be fine- I wasn't. 

I feel like I can ask Tyler for help the easiest because we are so close. Yet I still find myself feeling bad that he is doing the laundry or diaper changes instead of me. He is so good about it. When he sees I'm over doing it he will take me by the arm, walk me to bed, lay me down, and shut the door so the girls can't come in. So nice. 

The main reason it's so nice is because I don't have to say anything! I don't have to ask for help.

Then I realized he would probably have to go to work tomorrow..... And that I'll have to cook..... And I just felt completely wiped out & sad & down. Like I just wanted to go to sleep, pull over the covers and not wake up for a month or two, haha. 

Now, of course these thoughts and feelings are not from God, they are from another source. Satan wants us all to feel like we are the only ones suffering and that we have nowhere to turn for relief from our pain or sadness. 

So I have been thinking of Jesus. He suffered so that he could "...know according to the flesh how to succor his people..." It is a little funny to think that he knows EXACTLY how I am feeling as a pregnant lady, but I know with all my heart that it is true. He knows how I am feeling and understands completely my pains and feelings. Here is the full scripture in Alma:

Alma 7:12

• Book of Mormon

And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities. 

As I read this scripture I feel such peace. It will all be ok :) 

So. 

I listened. 

To the quiet voice inside telling me to ask for help. I emailed a lady in my Releif Society and asked if some ladies could give assistance through the week. And I cried. The whole time I was writing that 5 sentence email. Why is it so hard?? But I am so glad I did. Her reply wasn't, just buck up and handle it, like my subconscious was wary of. But instead she said: 

"Jamie! I am so proud of you! It's not often people actually say what they need and give others the chance to serve...." She also let me know the plan to receive help I need and some encouraging thoughts. 

I feel sooo much better. Knowing I don't have to suffer alone to be 'tough.' But instead I can rely upon those around me and especially my Savior for peace and strength.

 28 ¶Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek andlowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30)

Over-thinking Thoughts

It's hard to know what to write (type)! I mean, I am in the middle of plenty of projects, but I just don't know HOW to say what I want to say. 

Will I sound too perfect? Too know-it-all? Too Miss got-it-together? Too simple? Too boring? Not funny enough? ...... You get my point.

But it's my blog! why should I be so concerned with what or how I write! when this is supposed to be an extension of me? Oh geez, my over-thinking thoughts.

I have kept thinking lately about my teenage years and all the dumb things I said or did. I think back to that one boyfriend I broke it off with after we dated only a week! and how I wore crazy earrings in high school and never really went to class my junior year. I have also been thinking about how I would sleep in until noon as a college student, as if it were a bad thing! Haha :) 

(Here I am as a single adult, with my favorite wire-guy earrings. These were my sleep till noon days :)

These thoughts start rolling on how I could or should have done better and been wiser. I think to myself, if only who I am now, could have delt with the situations back then. I wouldn't have lead that guy on so long, being so oblivious to his intentions. Instead I would have been able to be clear and save the guy from heartache. 

But I guess that's the point, huh. I am who I am now because of the decisions and choices I've made.mmistakes and all! I'm sure when I'm 40 I'll still be looking back wishing I could have been wiser. 

I will just try to make recompense for any mistakes in the past that might need it, and move on! What do you think? Want to try it with me?

Well, I have a 3 year old that keeps trying to touch the screen with her toes..... So I guess I better be done for today :) 

Any tips on being who you are without letting fear stop you?

Jamie

God Gives us Hard Things

I have been struggling with a lack of energy and pains from the end of pregnancy, lately. Which has been really difficult for me! Like a serious lack of energy.... I made breakfast, then had to take an hour nap! And pain that is not crippling, but no fun! (Hence why I'm writing most of this at 4:30 am). Tyler has been so awesome in stepping up and taking care of me and my responsibilities so I can take care of baby :) 

Not saying that what I am going through is the hardest thing ever, for some people the trail I'm facing would be no big deal. We each have our own challenges. Everyone has their own trials, things that are hard or sad.Things that make us take a deep breath and hold.......for a little while. But the challenges we do face make us stronger and better people if we let it.

I believe He gives us these to help us remember prayer. Remember him. At least thats how I feel for me. It seems like when times are good my prayers are shorter and have less effort. Yet in hard times I can hardly get by without a prayer every hour it seems! As I have taken the time to pray and ask Heavenly Father for his help, I have felt his help. My energy isn't back, but I've been taught to do the bare minimum. Laundry? Psshhh-who needs it?? Cooking? Noodles and Parmesan cheese do just fine. Clean house? Ahhh, not important. Hugging and loving my girls? Now that is EVERYTHING :)

This has been a good lesson for me! Because as I start overdoing it (like by trying to cook a breakfast other than cereal) my body slowly gives out and I start to get irratible..... And annoyed.......and ornery. It not pretty. Then who suffers? My little girls. They deserve my best. Not the eggs or potatoes. Who cares if they are evenly sliced or well cooked? Maybe Tyler.... But he hasn't said anything so far! ;) For my daughters, I feel they need me more than a well-made breakfast.

Even though I'm learning this lesson, it is still hard to let things go! (That kitchen table, it just needs to be cleared off!) I still have the expectations I place on myself. And satan is there, ready to jump on any weakness, and try's to make me feel inadequate at every turn. So it ment A LOT when I got a touching message from my Heavenly Father yesterday.

Tyler was out late with his brother and the girls were in bed. It had been good day energy wise and I had been able to do a few things around the house. When Tyler got home, he handed me a paper bag with a little note on it.

He said he felt inspired to pick up these few items for me. It hit me, hard. I could feel God's love for me. I could feel peace inside and a support and love. Just like how a father supports his daughter :) I felt the opposite of alone. I felt lifted and hugged! even though it was a great day in terms of high energy-low pain, God still wanted to show me He is mindful of me and loves me. It was so nice to receive something so physical/tangible. 

He loves me always. And you! Just close your eyes for a minute.........and feel His care and watchfulness over you. Always, His love is there. No matter our choices. Bad days and good! Even though I tend to be less aware on the good days, His love is still there. I could feel it in my heart as I looked at those simple $1-menu items. He knew just how to show me, in a way specific to me.

So in what ways does Heavenly Father show his love to you? Try to have open eyes and an open heart to feel his special messages just. for. you. :) it's worth it.

New Stairs and New Perspective

Here we go! This is the time I would usually spend reading other peoples blogs, so now I get to write one instead!
I was thinking of what to write when I looked up and saw the big elephant in our front room. PERFECT! So here is the elephant......

Stairs! Wait... I put that in the title of the post, so you probably knew what this 'elephant' was all along.... Oh well! Just act surprised :)

About 2 weeks ago, Tyler (husband) decided that our longing to use the attic space should finally be realized. He raced to Lowes, or Home Depot, can't remember...... He raced to the Home Improvement Store.... Much better :) he got there and realized that he didn't know how much wood to buy! You see- neither of us have built stairs- ever. So a long phone conversation and lots of googling/youtubing later, we halfway had it figured out. Not to mention Heavenly Father helping inspire our minds! Really, I mean, what can't you do when someone who knows everything is helping you out??

We used this website to calculate the cuts and math. http://www.blocklayer.com/stairs/stairseng.aspx

We just put in the measurements of our floor, wall, and how big we wanted each step to be. Then the website gave us this picture:

It lists where each mark should be made! Super easy! A few youtube videos later on how to cut stairs and Tyler felt pretty confident. 

I made all the marks on the wood, which was probably really funny to watch. I was crawling along the board with my big prego belly, scooting slowly along this 16 ft piece of wood, haha! All on the front porch. No wonder our neighbor think we're crazy..... 

So I went to bed and Tyler stayed up until who knows when! Like 5am! And I woke up to this:

Beautiful stairs! Cut, attached to the wall,and with the treads on top! Yeah.... He is pretty much uh-amazing :)

He's been working on the railing, cutting out the ceiling, and supporting the rafters. It has only taken him about a week to get the basics done! It just goes to show what we are really capable of if we focus and let The Lord guide. 

Here is the view from the front door. (And the homemade baby gate)

Now all of this has been 'no bueno' for my nesting. But it is worth it. And as long as ONE room in the house looks pretty, then the others don't really matter, right? ......right?? :) at least that is my new perspective. Since my energy has gone out the window with all these contractions, I've just had to cut things to the bare minimum. Like eating, feeding 2 little cute girls, loving them, and diaper changes. And MAYBE getting dressed somewhere in there.... 

And I've realized I'm still happy if I choose to be. Even with a construction zone living room, dishes, laundry, and dirt staring me in the face. Because I guess what really makes us happy is our relationships. With god and family. 

I'm glad to get this lesson on balance. Even though it's been a tough one to learn. :)

Wow! What a rambling! I guess that shows me what I can do with a little 'spare time.'

You're the best!!

Jamie

Spare time..... What's that??

So.... I was brushing my teeth (this is a gripping story already, I know) and I was thinking about how I would really like to start writing on this blog again.
"If only I had more spare time" my inner mind thought- since you can't really talk to yourself while brushing your teeth. Well, you can.... But then toothpaste usually ends up leaking out and makes a mess....
Back to inner mind thoughts- "I just spent about an hour on facebook. And an hour earlier today reading other peoples blogs."
Then it hit me! Shocked me! Astounded me! ( ok, it wasn't that intense) if I used the time I spent reading OTHER peoples blogs, to write for mine, then I would have the 'spare time' to do it!

Yay! Problem solved. So this blog can become a more regular thing now.

I would say it was a very successful brushing teeth experience today. Who knows?? Maybe tomorrow's toothbrush session will solve world hunger! ;)

But my inner mind can't take all the credit. I feel God wants me to write a blog. To be a positive influence on the www to combat all the negative. And to be an outlet for me! A soon to be mom of 3! And by soon to be- I am really hoping that will be sooner than later :) due date for baby in in a week and a half!!

Back to the point, I will be here more often and I hope you will be too :)


Jamie